rRoxymore: Juggling Dualities
A period of struggle and disconnect made the French DJ and producer create her most powerful work
When she finally started working on her third album, rRoxymore had landed in a situation she’d never imagined herself in.
A globe-trotting DJ and producer who’d lived in Paris, Berlin and Mexico City, she found herself back home, in her native South of France, during a period of emotional upheaval.
Personal struggles led to a creative block that was only to be solved by temporary disconnect. Suddenly, she felt the urge to write music again, and within six weeks, she created the eight tracks that now make up Juggling Dualities.
While her previous albums had pushed at the experimental edges of house and techno, rRoxymore’s new work is deeply influenced by more ambient styles such as 1980s New Age and 1970s Kosmische.
“The record represents a journey of reconnection that conveys an underlying message of hope and healing at its core”, she’s quoted in the press blurb. “I think it is my most honest work to date.”
It’s safe to say that Juggling Dualities isn’t quite an ambient record. There are still programmed beats, and some tracks feel almost dancefloor-ready, even if it’s not Berghain’s main floor that comes to mind but maybe the morning hours at Panorama Bar. Overall it’s a more downtempo affair, combining jazzy drums and analogue synth sounds, juxtaposing acoustic and electronic textures.
I spoke to rRoxymore about her musical biography and the period leading up the production of one of the best electronic music albums of the year so far.
What are some of your earliest memories of sound?
Well, that's a good question. I grew up in the countryside, in the West of France around La Rochelle, so I’d say the cicadas in the summer. I must have been five or six at the time.
What kind of music did you grow up around? I read that your father was a jazz head.
Yes, lots of jazz, and some reggae as well. My mom was a big fan of Sly & Family Stone. We were listening to public radio constantly. France Culture was always on, and there would be talks, documentaries, or theater plays. You could listen to broad genres of music, from experimental to jazz to French music. When I left France, the internet started to kick in, and I stopped listening to radio on a regular basis. I miss it somehow. Radio and cinema were two important influences growing up in France.
What about musical training?
I played some piano, some cello, some flute. Cello didn't last too long, it was too difficult for me. I played flute between the age of 10 and 15, and piano before that.
Would you say you were an introverted kid?
100%. Not many friends, always in my own world. But at the same time, a bit of a clown. I was really a mix of both; these two characters were competing inside of me.
When did you realize that you wanted to make music?
I never wanted to make music at all. Music was part of my life – as a listener. When I moved to Montpellier, I started going out and got exposed to electronic music. Even when I got into club culture and DJing, I wasn’t thinking about making music. Then I met a friend who had a mini studio at home; he was doing hip-hop production, and he had Akai samplers and Cubase [software]. It was in this garage at his parents’ house, and he gave me the keys and said I can use [his gear] anytime. So I made my first experiments there. Still, this was just a hobby, or a passion.
So how did you end up touring the world with a band?
Totally by accident. At one point I got in contact with a few professional musicians, because I was DJing after one of their live shows. So this band, they were doing a mix of world music and electronics, and they approached me after the gig and said they were looking for one member to be replaced, as they would quit soon. And I just thought, “Why not?” I’d basically have to take care of the MPCs, the sequencers and the effects, and that was how it started. I never decided I wanted to make music, I was just following the flow. Life pushed me into that direction.
There are many references to UK dance music in your sound. I wonder where that strong influence is coming from?
Absolutely no idea, I can't really answer that question. I just feel very close to that scene, even though I'm not part of it. I'm an outsider. Because I have released music on British labels, some people think I'm English, but I just feel comfortable in that realm of UK music. I love strong basslines. Back in the 1990s, it was more trip hop and downtempo stuff that I liked, but that was mostly British music too, so maybe that was the first connection.
At one point you moved to Paris and studied academic music, right?
(laughs) Yeah, kind of. I went to Paris just for work, but I had access to this music school where I learned about electroacoustic composition. I did that for three years. I was not very good at it, still I learned some important things. When you start making music, you often get stuck in this Western harmonic world, with scales and stuff, but when you make electronic music with samplers or synthesizers, then you learn to do music with whatever sounds. Sound is music, this is what [musique concrète pioneers] Pierre Schaeffer or Pierre Henry are telling us. Learning this was very freeing. These days it’s very obvious, it’s been absorbed and infused in all music genres, but back then that approach was completely new to me.
After your time in Paris, you spent a good decade in Berlin. You toured globally as a DJ, worked on many projects and released two albums on established labels. Your new album came out of a period of writer’s block. How did you end up in that situation?
On a personal level, I’d decided to leave Berlin. I was supposed to move to Mexico City. I was in a relationship with someone, but it didn't work out. So I had to come back to Europe and ended up back home, in the South of France. Suddenly I was leading a very different life than before. There were other personal stories happening at the same time, all quite draining on an emotional level – a lot of grieving and learning to accept situations you hadn’t planned for. So I had absolutely no energy and no inspiration on the creative level. It was really frustrating.
For artists, this is an existential threat, right? If you stop creating, you lose your income stream, your source of livelihood.
Of course, this is the very real part of it. But it’s not just about the financials, also about the spiritual side. Music is part of my life, even if I couldn’t make a living out of it anymore. At the end of the day, I can still work in a supermarket – I don't care. But if I cannot do music, I’ll just get extremely sad and depressed. It's not even about doing it every day – sometimes you just can't, and it's fine to take a break, but at the time, I could not do anything at all. I’d hit a dead end, creatively speaking.
Did you get to a point where you actually considered doing something else for a profession, and pursue music as a passion or a hobby again?
For sure. I'm still thinking about this right now. And I don’t have the answer. It’s difficult to find something that is as fulfilling, you know? But I'm in that quest at the moment. I would like to have something else that feels as satisfying and can feed me as much as music can feed me, on a spiritual level.
The new material sounds clearly more calm and relaxed than your previous records. Would you say your own maturity and growth are reflected in the sound?
It's a bit of a cliché – after ten years in the scene you want to do an ambient album, right? (laughs) Well, here I am. But I still like to go out to party. It's important for me to go out for fun, not just for work. Just recently, I was playing in New York during Pride and I spent a whole weekend there, meeting friends and partying. It was more the daytime situation though. I still love that environment, it’s not just for youngsters. That’s actually what I really like about Berlin – you have older people on the dancefloors too, even people in their 50s and 60s.
Is Juggling Dualities harking back to your roots as a DJ playing trip hop and similar music in the 1990s?
You're right – there's definitely some connection. It’s not a trip-hop album, but it does have a strong influence from New Age and the Berlin School of synthesizer music... That kind of aesthetic was the starting point. There’s certainly some dirty 1990s rave nostalgia in there, and something that is very specific to that era.
How did you actually find out of that writer's block?
No idea! I had a request to contribute a track to another project, and I just wanted to give it a try. On a personal level, I had to reorganize my whole life and make space – I guess it was a combination of both. It gave me freedom, and suddenly I felt a wave of inspiration, as if all gates were opened, and then it all went really quick. All tracks on the album were written in space of a month and a half.
At the time you also took a break from social media. I can totally relate, but many people, especially in the electronic music scene, feel very dependent on it. How did it feel for you?
I know it sounds cliché, but it was so helpful. Right now I'm back on it, because I have to promote the record. But I'm more than happy when I can just switch off. Seriously, social media lately just feels very toxic and jarring. It’s creating a lot of anxiety. It’s fine to withdraw yourself from time to time; everyone should do it. For your mental health, it’s crucial. Just delete the apps for, say, three weeks. Look, you’re still here, you still exist. Maybe you’ve missed this and that, but there’s so much input anyway. It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. It’s nice to take a break and connect with the real world around you – your neighbors, your friends, your family, your pets.
So you still don’t have a Tik Tok account?
No, I cannot. (laughs) I still have Instagram, but I'm counting the days when I will be able to cut ties to this app indefinitely.
In the press text, there’s an allusion to a new rhythm of life that you’ve found when you were off social media.
Well, I do think in general it's important to find your own rhythm. Sometimes you get so caught up in stuff, whether it’s because of your work or your family or social media or whatever. We live in such a world with this very formatted idea [of how you’re supposed to live your life], and to find your own rhythm is such a luxury, it’s such a gift really. So yeah, I do follow my own rhythm now, and it’s very slow, and it’s fine. I don’t feel bad about it.
On the last track of the record, “Love and Attraction”, there's a sample from a lecture by a Buddhist spiritual teacher. What's your relation to Buddhism and spirituality?
I'm not a Buddhist, but I'm interested in exploring this spiritual path. I do sometimes visit this meditation center, which is run by Buddhists. That quote you mentioned comes from the famous Zen master Shunryū Suzuki. I just came across this video, and I found it really interesting because he’s talking about sounds, and I felt that’s such a beautiful sentence, and an interesting approach too. In these past years, I’ve been trying to be more mindful in everyday life.
You've referred to the album as your “most honest work to date”. What does it mean to you in terms of the music itself? Or put differently, what could be dishonest about instrumental music?
I’m really proud of this album. For the first time, I could appreciate listening back to my music right after finishing the tracks. That’s why I feel it’s really honest – the ideas I put out there felt as close as possible to the original ideas I had in mind. I don't think I've ever been dishonest in my music, but sometimes you create something, and it takes a while until you can actually appreciate it. I wasn’t really comfortable to listen to [my earlier music] right away, only later. With this one, it’s different.
If you were asked to create a DJ mix of influences for this album, where would you start the journey?
The Durutti Column. There’s a very specific sense of nostalgia in some of his [Vini Reilly’s] songs that I wanted to recreate on this album.
rRoxymore’s Juggling Dualities is out now.
Wow, what a coincidence! I’m actually listening to her new album right now. Great interview, thank you for this!